BREAKING NEWS: Osama Bin Laden releases tape congratulating the US on capture of infidel Roman Polanski.

By Aman Atoz
Riyad

In an unusual move, the head of al-Qaeda praises the US for its unrelenting hunt for mastermind child predator Roman Polanski. In the tape Bin Laden goes on to add that finally the US is moving towards a better society by fully embracing fundamentalism, even if it is not for the true god Allah, and his prophet Mohamed - praise be upon them. "In pursuing this dangerous criminal, the US has shown the world that they have got their priorities straight." Osama is heard commenting in the tape after delivering an inspiring speech that should help motivate the L.A. police department to finally apprehend the monster who hacked Paris' blackberry. In the tape, the elusive terrorist leader also displays a deep understanding of American society by pointing out that most Americans did not know that the Swedish had law enforcement and are capable of more than manufacturing cheap, difficult to assemble furniture and delicious meatballs.